Thank god I checked my quarantine box this morning. Both Jennifer Aniston and Angela Jolie had sent me emails to me. I could have missed them.

Spam is a funny thing.  Intending to destroy your computer, or hijacking your email contacts to allow someone to exploit your friends, or just to fraudulently part you with your money because deep down you’d like a better erection. Yes. It’s fake viagra. The double con of fake viagra is that they may also send it to you.  If it isn’t Viagra – what is it? Very rarely people get caught doing it.  Here is a story about a man getting a “stiff sentence”.

Fake Viagra is also big business. I just wondered….if the most innovative people on getting you to pay on the web are pornsites – then how expert are the “Fake Viagra Boys” at optimisation of email headlines.  So – I rifled and researched through 4 days of my quarantine bin to produce this analysis.  I can now reveal the 12 (inches) strategies and the headlines used to encourage you to click through for the chance of a fake stiffy. We start out classical with Urgency and Discount, but it progresses through to Stud and ends in Surreal.  Michell Obama gets a mention, Jay Leno and Cockzilla…. and some may offend…or even arouse.

1. Urgency

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2. Discount

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3. Free

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5. Stud

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6. Confidence

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7. Wow

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8. Money

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9. Sexy ladies

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10. Pharmaceutical

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11. Celebrity

Britney throws off top. Jay Leno found taking drugs. Re: Louis Vuitton, Prada, Chanel, Gucci, Armani…. What really happened on the TONIGHT show. . Michelle Obama shows her warmer.

12. Surreal

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